Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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