This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
