How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
