He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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