considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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