that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
