Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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