Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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