I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize