you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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