You just made me feel so damn special
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
