I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize