Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
