I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
