therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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