I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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