You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
