Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize