She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My bed smells like the plague
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
