Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
