i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
