Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
