the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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