TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
