What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
