Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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