Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I know her cup size but not her name....
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
