we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize