some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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