First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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