I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
