So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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