I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize