Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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