Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
