My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize