Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
