I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
