is your mom at the bar?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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