I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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