her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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