I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we made out on top of his cat.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
