She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
pray to the hookup gods
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
