And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize