im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
