i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
