i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
