i jhust puked up my retainher.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
