we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
