My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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