I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
