no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
