Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
