Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize