I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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