I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
