so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
