girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize