Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
