It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize