woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
