If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
