I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And then my night got REAL pukey
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