I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
