I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
